Turning Dreams Into Reality....

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

How do you know when to walk away?

I don't know about you, but I'm a tad controlling.  Seriously.  If I'm not in control of a situation, I feel so uncomfortable. 

Is this something that happens once we become moms?  That baby is born, and now all of a sudden we a mom, we are in control of this new being.  We feed this little person, clean him, hold him, etc...  This little person is solely relying on you to take care of their every need.

Then that baby gets older and starts showing their own independance.  What happens to us moms?  We have to step aside and let them take more and more independance.  It's scary for a mom... yet we know we have to make the transition.

As the kids get older and older, they need us less and less.  We feel the control slipping through our fingers.  We want to grab hold of it and never let go.  There's a voice inside us telling us to let go... but dang... it's hard!

So then I look at other areas of my life.  Am I compensating that control for other things?  Meaning, am I trying to take control of other things since I feel like I am losing control elsewhere?  Hmmmmm.  Maybe a little too deep when there hasn't been enough sleep...lol

Sooooo when do we know to step back.  Is there a right time?

I find myself doing quite the coaching-in-my-head talks.  To think before I speak and before I take action.  I have heard so many times, don't react.  Use the 24-hour rule... step away and let the emotion pass before "reacting".  Ok... well that's hard too.  We are only human afterall... right?

I come from a place where I never felt like i had any control.... so when I became a mom... wow!  I had control.  I really liked that feeling... but I don't know that I really understood it was control until I started losing it.  Yikes. 

So now here I am with a 14 year old who wants all the independance in the world... and a 9 year old who is approaching wanting more and more independance.  I look ahead and wonder where we'll be in 5 years... that scares me!  I will then have a 19 year old...whoa...not a good feeling.  Just breathe.....

When I started working from home I did so to be at home full time with my kids.  The boys and I are close... so even though they are getting older and taking more and more independance... we will always be close... just the dynamics of our relationship will change.

Please, don't let me be one of those overbearing mothers who feels the need to share opinions on girlfriends, etc...  Nope... that will not be me!

It's such a strange thing... being a mom... knowing what is right and what is wrong.  Part of me panics... what will I do when the boys are all grown up and out of the house.  I'll still be here working from home... but won't be a stay-at-home mom any longer.  Then I'll just be someone who works from home.  But, that's a good thing I guess.

So, what's the point.  I suppose the point is control.  How it can take over.  With it we can feel powerful, useful, respected, in charge... without it we can feel vulnerable, lost, alone... scared.  But, really, it doesn't have to be that way.  "Control" isn't only a positive thing... it can be negative as well.

I look at my team.  I don't want "control" there.  We are all equals.  We work together as a TEAM.  

Yes, I have control of my business... because it's just that... MY business.  I can control who I work with.  I can control how I conduct my business.  I can control MY actions and reactions.

One thing for sure is this... the ONE thing we will ALWAYS have control over is ourselves.  When I said, from where I come from I didn't have control... I was in a situation where I really didn't have any control.  Once leaving that situation and gaining control... it is a scary thing.  Not knowing how to make decisions.

It's all a learning process.  Life is such an interesting thing.  We all spend so much time worrying and not living in the moment.  We worry about what could happen... instead of waiting to see what will actuall happen.

So, there's my lesson to myself for today... instead of worrying about what "might" happen... I shall enjoy the beauty of today.

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